ma feelings about eating

Eating problems are so anoying and yet so hard to stop going back to it.People tell you you are really pretty and that you are skinny and they would love to be your size and be what yuou are but deep down all you think is lier why tell me that when i know im not ??? You think you are fine but really you arent you have so much hiden away inside that no one knows and you just cant let it out as you are so scared of what will be said and what others will think of you on the out side you put on a brave face but on the inide you are falling apart its hard when there is only a few people who know whas really wrong but you still feel scared of telling them how you feel as you dont want to loose them or bother them .Everybody thinks you are fine and doing great but when you loose something bit by bit things start to haunt you and you have no controll over it you stop eating and being to loose weight and each day you become weaker and weaker and you cant do the things yoyu want to anymore even getting out of bed is really tuff and you just want to sit and cry and fade away. its all down to not eating you feel so hungry yet you all you can think of is that well if i dont eat maybe i can look like how i want to look and it makes you sicker and sicker and you then become soo ill you cant take it no more and you have to seak help i have felt like this so many times and yet people still dont understand so things get locked away and hidden and only i can feel all the pain and hurt its like a treasure chest and key and yet no-one but me has found a keep so thing are locked away.So many people think im fine but deep down i know im not they look at you and judge you by what you look like its like a reader with a book someties they judge the book by its cover but its not the outside that counts it all down to the inside and thats what you need to know not by how it looks or the style of it yet so many people do this with everybody but they dont know what you are really like and maybe that is a good thing in my case but others they are missing out on alot of fun and a great friend.Everything i have said in this glog is exactly how i feel and at the minute i feel pain anger and hurt but my friends are helping me loads and i love them all you know who you are thank you you really are my word >XXXXXXXXXXXXXX<